Welcome to the space where I teach the tools I used to heal; and share what my body and intuition have to say.
Listening to my body has been my life-line to heal from almost two decades of chronic pain and disease. So…ya, I’m pretty passionate about about honoring my sensitive body. Every sensation, feeling, and passing thought is a communication from my emotional body; everything means something. I want to know what and how to move past it. Don’t you?
Every moment of every day I choose to listen to my body and honor what it has to say – because my health and wellbeing depends on it! And so does yours.
Let’s discover your intuition, your inner wisdom, and what your body has to say. Let’s get curious about what is in the way of you discovering your Best Self, and find the tools YOU need to LIVE as your Best Self.
Your body is powerful, learn how to put it to work for you.
Are you ready??!?
I am an avid journaler. Writing is my exhale. It is my safe space to figure out what is going on. One day several years after the final piece to my health puzzle fell into place and I was officially “pain, symptom, and medication-free” I wrote this…
“Owning my endometriosis story starts the day my “endo” ended. My story starts the day of my fourth laporoscopy surgery as my surgeon told my husband and I there was no visible sign of endometriosis. My endo story starts the day my specialist told me, “There was nothing more I can could do for you.” My endo story started the day I embraced my demons and embraced that endometriosis is in my heart, it is in my head, it is in my spirit, and it is in every cell in my body.
Endometriosis hurt me.
Endometriosis hurt every single part of my being. Endometriosis took me away from me. I didn’t love me. I didn’t love my body. I didn’t love living my life.
Now I know my endometriosis story has power. My story picks up where the doctors left off. My story starts where I discover and embrace me. All of me. I am the only one with the power to shower myself with the unconditional love needed to dig out of the corner this disease put me in.
Now I know.
I know my sensitive body is powerful. I know how to listen to my body. I know my life’s work is to help you listen to your body. My mission is to empower women to heal.”
Prior to this day if you would have asked me my story, I would have spouted out my medical history…age of diagnosis, number of surgeries, list of meds, etc. But that was never MY story. That was the story I had rehearsed and performed repeatedly throughout the 17 years of pain and disease to the doctors and nurses who needed their facts perfectly packaged, just the way they liked.
It took me years to break that pattern. It took me years to write MY story. What I learned along the way, was that healing didn’t begin until I peeled back all the layers of “shoulds-coulds-whatif, with a side of guilt ridden anger, shame, resentment and confusion” that I finally connected to me. My inner wisdom. And when I began to do what I needed for ME and MY WELLNESS, true healing began.
Ready to release layers of crud getting in the way of hearing what your body has to say?
want to know more about my journey with chronic pain and disease? Read my book, “Rewired Life; a journey to untangle chronic pain and endometriosis.”
I was officially diagnosed with endometriosis at age 14, however the pain started much before then. Menstrual cycles were always painful, and back pain seemed ever present. On the evening of Thanksgiving 1995, a cyst ruptured and sent me to the Emergency Room. This started my parents and I down the course of diagnosing and treating endometriosis. Over the next 12 years I would go through 4 laporoscopy surgeries and 2 rounds of hormone injections forcing me into menopause. By the time the third round of Lupron shots were suggested, I would also be facing bone density tests to ensure my body could handle the intense hormone treatment. I decided I had enough. I was 26 and considering medically induced menopause for the third time. I felt like a rat in a wheel. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Something had to give.
This was early 2008, I was married and had a career. I felt stuck and frustrated. I had done all the things doctors told me to do. I was used to surgery taking my pain away, but when it doesn’t, where do you turn? The physical pain was debilitating, and took over my life. 2008 turned into an emotional downward spiral of hopelessness and helplessness unlike I’d never experienced, and I hit rock bottom.
The next 5 years were a journey of self-discovery and a path to healing. These years took me down a road to loving myself, healing my mind, body and spirit, and celebrating life. Today I am pain, symptom, and medication-free of endometriosis. Self-care and inner reflection are a part of my daily life as it is essential to maintain balance. Keeping my body, mind, and spirit free of tension and negativity is a daily practice. In 2013 it became clear that sharing my journey to wellness and helping women discover their path to wellness and happiness is my life work. By connecting through writing, speaking, and coaching I am one by one helping women discover inner wisdom, and their power.
After hitting rock bottom in 2008, it became obvious to me that continued medication was not working. I had been taking pain pills, muscles relaxers, hormones, and mood stabilizers for almost half my life, and I wasn’t any better than the day I was diagnosed. (read the blog post – The End of Pain Pills) My mindset shifted from “just make the pain go away” to dealing with the many layers of physical and emotional pain endometriosis has caused for me. It was a process of looking inward and embracing the idea that doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. – Albert Einstein. Intensely focusing on making the pain go away had been my approach for well over a decade, and now, I needed a new game plan.
Instead of longing for the day and believing my life will be fixed when the pain goes away, I chose to set smaller, more attainable goals. (check out the post – I’ll be Happy When) I started looking at everyday life, and asking myself, “what can I choose to do today, that will create a healthier lifestyle?” I found diet, sleep patterns, physical activity, relationships, and self-confidence (to name a few) all had room for improvement. My team of therapists (Physical Therapy, Acupuncture, Chiropractic, Medical Massage, and Kinesiology) and I got to work. As we made changes and improvements, they supported me physically and emotionally. Breaking down the disease into smaller, more manageable pieces helped me see improvement. For example, after cutting out Burger King, soda, and candy, I could see my digestion improving. Let me tell you, when going number two improves from once every 4-5 days to once every 36 hours, you’ve got something to be excited about!
This regimen of self-care and inner reflection continued to address low-hanging fruit, and find easy improvements. From diet, to daily routine, to self-forgiveness, every aspect of life was up for transformation. Anywhere I found tension, negativity, or pain, I questioned what I could let go of, acknowledge, or change. An amazing thing happened. While I was focused on creating a better me, pain slowly dissolved. Tension left my body.
March 2012 is my line in the sand, and the end of endometriosis symptoms. I let go of the last crutch and connection to medicine. I had been on birth control for almost 20 years and I was terrified of letting go of my daily dose of safety. I thought, I can’t stop taking birth control, what if my body needs it to stay regular? What if I quit and the heavy, awful periods came back? What if… My fear of the unknown kept me stuck in my current situation.
And then, one day in the middle of March 2012, I recognized my fear and changed my verbiage. If after quitting birth control, the pain returns, I will be ok. I have a team of therapist ready to help me, and am in a better place now than I was 5 years ago. If, in fact, my body NEEDS birth control, I will just go back to taking it. My perspective changed to come from a place of curiosity. What if I experiment with the idea for 2 months? Two months. I can handle that.
That day came and went like any other day. And the next 3 months came and went. I was fine. I WAS FINE! My massage therapist and acupuncturist both commented on how relaxed my body felt. The weight of the world had been lifted. I was free.
These days life is much smoother. Emotional stress easily passes through me, tension no longer gets stuck in my body. I am no longer angry or resentful about endometriosis, or the layers of physical and emotional pain it caused. I have learned to love myself and my body, and have reconnected with who I am. I’ve gained self-confidence and found power in my voice.
I am grateful for my past, and grateful for what I have learned. Endometriosis made me who I am.
These days taking care of myself looks like this; slow mornings, leisurely waking up, and snuggling with the cats. After morning meditation (I practice Transcendental Meditation) I pull a Tarot Card from one of the many decks I’ve accumulated, and then begin “morning pages” in my journal. I find a cup of coffee or tea and nibble on a small breakfast as I start the work day. I take afternoon breaks; going for a walk, meditating, or resting. Once a week I see one of my practitioners, rotating between Acupuncture, Chiropractic or Medical Massage, Kinesiology, and Reiki. I allow my body time to integrate therapies by resting and remaining relaxed. Listening to my body, letting go of tension, and forgiving myself and others allows me to continue to love and accept myself. In the process relationships have blossomed, and I get to authentically express myself.
I love spending my day connecting with amazing women, and having incredible conversations about healing, self-care, and discovering your path to wellness. Educating women about our emotional body, and the emotional cycle of endometriosis and chronic pain brings me joy as I get to watch pain and tension fade into the background of life.
I believe everyone deserves their own health and wellness. I believe our bodies are the message board to our psyche, and if we can get quiet enough to listen, there is infinite knowledge for us to learn. I have a strong desire to help women discover their path to wellness. I believe in celebrating life and all the beauty the world has to offer. I couldn’t be happier knowing I get to spend my day talking with amazing women who are ready to begin making small changes, and start their journey to wellness.
Together we can love ourselves, heal our mind and body, and celebrate life.