For months I’ve been writing like crazy. I have a writing group and an editor, and am proud of the content. But in one of the latest meetings, my editor said she was struggling to fill in the gaps in content because my overall goals with the book were unclear. I needed a clear road map, clear intention, and goal for what I want to leave with my readers.
I have gone through this exercise before stating that I wanted to encourage women to listen their bodies and honor themselves, to love and accept themselves, and to view themselves as beautiful. I still love these goals, and will continue to pursue them as an overall objective. But I’ve been struggling to focus the book’s content. I needed to define an intention that left me inspired, to define why I am writing in the first place.
In this week’s women entrepreneur group meeting I said I needed help with a linear layout and intent for the book. I needed an answer to “what do you want to leave your readers with?”. One woman asked what I would say to 14 year old me.
Flood. Gates. Opened.
For me, my writing has been all about awareness and permission.
I give you permission to listen to you! The thoughts and feelings you have are real and valid. Do not discredit your feelings because you feel embarrassed or ashamed, confused or overwhelmed.
Do what you need to do to HEAR you. Learn to quiet the environment so you can hear your inner thoughts. And then learn to trust those thoughts and intuition. Know that you have permission to ask for the things your body is telling you.
I tell my stories, because there have been times when I felt like a crazy lunatic. Full of shame and guilt, feeling alone and confused. Either no one told me, or I couldn’t hear through my own shame, that it is okay to feel what I feel, and to express those feelings. I needed PERMISSION and I needed a TEAM of people who not only understood me, but who also were also on my side.
Find the people you authentically and effortlessly connect with. And when someone doesn’t fit, move on. There are plenty of people in the world. Make it your mission to find the ones that effortlessly let you be you, and support you. People who, under all the fear, guilt, and anger for the disease, see the real you. Pain thrives on opposition and guilt, criticism and fear. I created plenty for myself, and enough to go around. I don’t need people in my life who do not understand me. It is a continuous choice to surround yourself with loving, supportive people, and to let go of those who are no longer positive influences.
I needed permission to say NO. To ask, what else is possible? I needed permission to create space for my healing. I needed permission to create a line item in our budget, to be free from guilt of spending money on my own wellness. I needed to hear I am worth the time, energy, and expense it took to crawl out of a deep hole. I needed permission to be a priority in my own life.